Time, then, for the maestro. Noel Gallagher has a wholly different interview technique to his younger brother.

“You’ll need to get your pillow out when that cunt starts talking,” advises Liam on his way out. “You’ll be here all night before you get to your second question.”

It’s true, Noel does think it’s good to talk. When he’s had enough of being the songwriter and mastermind behind Britain’s most popular band since The Beatles, he could probably make a healthy living on the after-dinner speech circuit. In the meantime, though, pull up a chair, crack open another Hooch, and listen to the little fella go.

How does it feel to be back with a new record at last?
“Pretty fucking good, considering it wasn’t going to happen at all in the first place. There was a lot of hype and speculation because, well, when you’re not touring and not doing much, the stuff that gets written about you is usually bullshit.

“I bet there’s some kid somewhere who just started getting into music about six months ago who doesn’t realise we’re a band, who just thinks we live in the papers for some reason. So we had to make a record. We were getting sick of hearing ‘Wonderwall’ every two minutes on the radio. It’s good to get back in the ring, man.”

What was the atmosphere like when you made the record?
“Er, didn’t start off too well, to be honest. I had this idea that we’d do it around the corner from our house in Abbey Road and everybody would turn up when they turned up, do their bits and fuck off, but it didn’t turn out that way. There was too many tabloid journalists knocking about in corridors and shit like that. So we did three tracks in Abbey Road and then once we’d done that we moved down to Ridge Farm and that was top. It was like being the band again. Just sitting up all night talking bullshit and making music.”

Did you write “D’You Know What I Mean?” last?
“I had the chords for about a year, I kept doing it at soundchecks on the acoustic guitar, although the melody was totally different. I officially wrote it last May when I went away to nail all the songs, but I actually had it long before then. We deliberately left it until last to record because we tend to do all the B-sides first just to get all our heads around being back in the studio. We left that one until last because we knew it would be the single. So it’s got a sound that’s a bit more advanced than the rest of the album. The songwriting is going to change for the next one, though, and that’s a hint of what’s to come. Gonna get into a bit of Welsh rap, get MC Dafydd in the band and rock the valleys!”

Speaking of which, is there really a sample of NWA on the single?
“Yeah. It runs right through the song and Alan sort of drums on top and you can’t really tell what it is, there’s a bit before the guitar solo and, anyway, like a knobhead I did this interview for Rolling Stone and said, ‘There’s an NWA sample on the new single’ and my manager goes, ‘Doh! Why did you say that, you daft cunt, gotta pay ’em now!’ But I bought that album, Straight Outta Compton, when it came out, what, must be at least seven years ago. It’s the first track on the album, and I don’t know where they sampled those drums from but… I remember when me and the original engineer, Mark Coyle, used to do dance stuff years ago, we put those drums on a track for about half an hour because we thought it was so amazing. Just the pace and the sound of it suits that song.”

What’s the backwards stuff on the single?
“Funny thing is, we did this interview in America a few weeks ago and this American fella thought that that bit goes, ‘The walrus was Bonehead’! I said, ‘You are definitely smoking too much pot if you even think that I might think that Bonehead is even a walrus, never mind the fucking walrus!’ Me and Owen produced it, but Mark Coyle was there because he’s our lucky mascot and he was talking into a sampler and sampling us talking. Just bits and bobs, really. Just random stuff to fill the seven-and-a-half minutes. It doesn’t say ‘kill Crispian Mills’ or anything. Although, you know, not a bad idea as such…”

Who are “your people”?
“The fans, really. Not so much mates. It’s just a call to arms, you know? When I was writing it I was going to put something really profound after ‘all my people right here, right now’, but I couldn’t think of anything that didn’t sound corny, so I went for ‘d’you know what I mean?’. Those people will know, which is why it’s called ‘D’You Know What I Mean?’. Very tidy.”

When Liam sings, “I met my maker and I made him cry”, are you talking about God?
“God. Yeah. On Judgement Day, if there ever is one, I’ll have a few things to say to that fucking cunt. I’m usually pissed when I’m writing, or stoned, so it could be about fuck all, really. Who knows? But I do think that and a song on the album called ‘Fade In-Out’ are the best two lyrics I’ve ever written. Saying that, they wouldn’t have to be much cop to beat some of my fucking lyrics, would they? It’s all about cultural images, more than anything. I know what it’s about, and the rest of the band know what it’s about, even though you couldn’t easily define it. It’s not a song about religion, it’s not a song about shagging birds, it’s not a song about taking drugs, it’s about all them things.”

The song seems to be pitting your people against God’s. Do you think Oasis are more important to the youth of today than God?
“Now that’s a loaded question! I would have to say, without a shadow of a doubt, that is true. Yeah. Football is more important to me than religion. Some of the pop stars I like are more important to me than God, so yeah. I would hope we mean more to people than putting money in a church basket and saying 10 Hail Marys on a Sunday. Has God played Knebworth recently?”