OK, so now it’s 101 degrees and the crowd is crawling from patch of shade to tented shelter, the mass influx of Hollywood types and music biz bigwigs (them that’s left!) arriving in limos when the sun goes down.

The cops are on horseback, there are drug amnesty bins on the way in (300 tabs of acid, 46 grammes of coke collected so far) and, if you’re well enough festooned with passes, golf buggies to get us from stage to stage. Hop aboard.

Here’s how it all went down for Uncut on Day Two:

BEST SHOW

MGMT

Could be Band Of The Weekend already. Sidestage is packed with celebs, the Mohave Tent is heaving, it’s four o’clock in the afternoon, we’re wearing sunglasses and on a mission from God. Or something. Whatever it takes, these young dudes have got it and are sweating it like ice water from their every cool pore. The set’s just about all of Album Of The Year So Far ‘Ocacular Spectacular’, ‘Time To Pretend’ is the shout-along song of the day and when Andrew Vanwyngarden and Ben Goldwasser disappear into the adoring crowd during the closing ‘Kids’, we have what is commonly described as a “moment”.

COVER VERSION FROM HEAVEN

PRINCE doing ‘Creep’.

We think the sun has boiled our brains. We can’t believe our ears. But, yeah, that is definitely Prince, headlining the Main Stage as a late addition to the bill, and he is definitely playing a funked-up version of Radiohead’s ‘Creep’! Let’s go crazy, indeed.

The rumour is His Dandyness had been drafted in late to help ticket sales at the cost of $4m but, dapper in a crisp white suit, He sure makes certain to give us our money’s worth. We get ‘Little Red Corvette’, ‘1999’ a memory for life in ‘Purple Rain’ and another cover, The Beatles’ ‘Come Together’.

He busts the curfew by an hour, still up there noodling at 1am but heck, we’ll never see Prince in such a magical setting again.

HOTTEST HOTPANTS

JENNY LEWIS of RILO KILEY

Doing the dusk spot at the Outdoor Theatre, local(ish… Silverlake’s three hours off) heroes Rilo Kiley turn in a sultry set for all the laydees. Jenny Lewis, foxy as always, sports the nautical look with sailor blue hotpants, leads mass singalongs through the ‘Under The Blacklight’ album and we finish with popular oldie ‘Portions For Foxes’, the band wigging out over the frets.

They do nicely. Next year, the real Fleetwood Mac?

COMEBACK…er…KIDS

PORTISHEAD

Grumbling to all and sundry that Prince’s late addition to the bill means they have to cut four songs from their set, nevertheless, Portishead do the comeback thing consummately. This is the money spot, after all. Past years have seen Rage Against The Machine, Pixies and Jesus And Mary Chain rise from the ashes here to take their bow for posterity and Beth Gibbons ensures a palpable sense of occasion, characteristically torturing herself through oldies like ‘Glory Box’ and newies from ‘Third’.

A chill in the heat of the night.

BIG COACHELLA MOMENT

KRAFTWERK doing ‘RADIACTIVITY’

Main Stage big screens reel out images of autobahns and robots and suchlike while, off in the distance, those little men who could be hired stand-ins for all we know, do… something… while the tracks majestically unfold.

‘Radioactivity’ is a blast and even the coolest of the cool involuntarily gyrate and get their rave heads on.

PARTAYYYY!

M.I.A.

Never one to come quietly, M.I.A’s Sahara Tent session develops into a showdown with security as the lady calls the ravenous crowd up onstage for ‘Bird Flu’. The house (tent?) lights are turned on, she won’t budge and eventually, under her burning stare, the powers cave in and the show rocks on with a brilliant ‘Boys’ and even a sarcastic dig at The Verve with an off-key ‘The Drugs Don’t Work’.

Uncut crowns her Queen of Coachella.

PARTAYYY TOO!

MARK RONSON

Nattily laundered after collapsing onstage during the NME’s US Awards, the master socialite gets all his mates up with him for his evening slot in the Outdoor Theatre. Kaiser Chief Ricky Wilson does his ‘Oh My God’, Charlatan Tim Burgess does his ‘Only One I Know’, Klaxon Jamie Reynolds shares vocal duties on The Smiths’ ‘Stop Me’ with newbie Sam Sparro, and Kelly Osbourne, appropriately enough wearing some sort of toga affair, leads a mass celeb choir through The Supremes’ ‘You Keep Me Hanging On’.

Fun. Fun. Fun. Uncut crowns him the Fresh Prince of SoCal.

CELEB SPOT

Crazier than yesterday, we’ve got… DAVID HASSELHOFF (Yup, the Hoff!), KELLY OSBOURNE, AGYNESS DEYN (loves MGMT, mad for ANIMAL COLLECTIVE), SEAN PENN whizzing about in a golf cart, JARED LETO, MELANIE GRIFFITHS (big Prince fan), JAMIE-LYNN SIEGLER (Meadow Soprano to you) and SIENNA MILLER, who’s mates with MICK JONES and gave him the Inspiration Award at the NME Awards on Tuesday.

COOL IN THE HEAT

KATE NASH

Sweltering in the Mojave Tent, it’s late afternoon when Kate takes the stage looking hot and flustered. Her band attack ‘Pumpkin Pie’ with such venom, the drums get dislodged! Rawk mayhem? Kate Nash! God’s own truth!

Anyhoo, things settle down with a lovely ‘Birds’ and Kate’s got us eating out of the palm of her hand. Her main hug Ryan from The Cribs is side-stage lending moral support. All together now: aaaaahhh!

Check back tomorrow for Day 3 inclusding Roger Waters doing ‘Dark Side Of The Moon’.

STEVE SUTHERLAND